Alright, so... Tonight, I've officially lost it. I honestly contemplated throwing myself out of a car moving at 60 mph, and hope it would kill me. Honestly, death is the only thing that seems to be constant anymore. If I drop out of school I can't get into a dance class, no job, nothing, on the other hand... I'm free, still some what intelligent. There's always a G.E.D... Right...? At this point, I couldn't even care for my own life. I turned to my older sister in the same car, and looked her dead in the eye saying "If that house burnt down... I don't think I'd have the ability to care." she shook her head, but probably knew I wasn't lying.
Parents wonder why their children leave, never call, kill themselves, or kill their parents... It's not the kids... Children live what they learn, they don't learn as they live, and I refuse... REFUSE to end up like either of my parents. Sure, you might think I'm going a tiny bit overboard with this, but ya know...? I don't really give a Donkey's Beastialized Shit Hole anymore. My life is a living hell, and all of my friends see this, I don't think I can take this anymore to be honest... I'm currently calculating my escapes.... I could go the way of the girl in that Shinedown video, and just up and leave.... But that's not my style. I would prefer to just move in with my grandmother, I would give anything to get away from my parents at this point. Ya know, my mother and father were talking about where I -used- to want to go to college... Her only responce was "I'm not paying for him to learn to dance." Ya know what? Fine, Infact, I'm linking this blog to my facebook, so maybe they can get a clue of exactly what they do to us.
My sisters are convinced my mother hates them, my older sisters thinks my mother thinks she's a criminal, and a bad influence. EVERYTHING I DO IS OF MY OWN VOLITION... Get that through your thick skulls. I'm not some impressionable young kid anymore, I'm more mature than ya'll give me credit for. Speaking of, where the hell do you come off acting like you never lied once in your childhoods, if you come up here, and tell me you didn't... That's such a damn lie it isn't even funny. I could just go ask my grandmother, yeah, I could. Dude, makes me wonder what crap ya'll would say about me behind my back, disgusting.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Fifth Entry: August 15th, 2010: Rudeness Amung Siblings
Okay, really? Now my sister is being an idiot because I was trying to help my grandmother by telling her my sister's underwear size. It's not my fault all she does all day is sit at a game system, and yell profanity into a microphone. The only time I don't hear her cussing is when we're at our grandmother's or when we've gone to dinner. I mean, don't get me wrong, I cuss alot too... Such as: Fuck, Shit, Whore, Slut-Bitch, Slutty-Whore (Yes, there are different kinds), but I don't do it in public, and I don't do it as often. It's believed that I get away with it becuase I'm the favorite... So inaccurate. It's actually so much different, I can actually be considered that I'm just all around nicer to everyone, so I get away with things more often.
Sure I lie a bit, and no, I really don't care to tell the truth in some situations, but if it's that bad, I'm sure I can come clean, and say something. Welp, that's all for now. All I have to wait for now is another idiotic comment from my stupidly childish younger sister to slip out of her profanity-filled gullet-hole she calls a mouth.
Sure I lie a bit, and no, I really don't care to tell the truth in some situations, but if it's that bad, I'm sure I can come clean, and say something. Welp, that's all for now. All I have to wait for now is another idiotic comment from my stupidly childish younger sister to slip out of her profanity-filled gullet-hole she calls a mouth.
Fourth Entry: August 15th, 2010: Gaming Idiocies.
Okay, really? All I wanted to do is play one game of Super Smash Brother's Brawl, and the responce I get from my sister is "No, I can't do exactly what I can do in Team Battle, in Practice mode."... Alright, so tell me, if they didn't want to give you the ability to have infinite lives on one setting, why not all settings? Exactly, they did.... Either way, this isn't just about a setting, this is about her being an idiot... as usual. Seriously, they call me the stupid one, and she can't even see that she's wrong about one thing? Who's the stupid one again???
Moving on to a different note.... I've lost all interest in the game due to my sister's selfish attitude, and lack of ability to admit that it is so. Seriously, she has a harder time sharing then I do. And when I lack the ability to share my laptop, it's because A: I bought it, and B: I don't like people snooping around in my private stuff. (IE: Porn, images, ect.)
Oh, and how come when someone hosts an online game, that's -FREE- to play, meaning people don't -have- to log in, and don't -NEED- to stay, that they all the sudden feel like they're god? Some people just can't wrap their thoughts around not being able to control every single little thing. Sad, I know, but it happens... Welp, that's all for what has annoyed me... for now anyway. I'm sure something else will pop out of my head from sheer bordum eventually.
Moving on to a different note.... I've lost all interest in the game due to my sister's selfish attitude, and lack of ability to admit that it is so. Seriously, she has a harder time sharing then I do. And when I lack the ability to share my laptop, it's because A: I bought it, and B: I don't like people snooping around in my private stuff. (IE: Porn, images, ect.)
Oh, and how come when someone hosts an online game, that's -FREE- to play, meaning people don't -have- to log in, and don't -NEED- to stay, that they all the sudden feel like they're god? Some people just can't wrap their thoughts around not being able to control every single little thing. Sad, I know, but it happens... Welp, that's all for what has annoyed me... for now anyway. I'm sure something else will pop out of my head from sheer bordum eventually.
Third Post: August 15th 2010: Random Anger at Home Schooling
Man, I'm busy aren't I? Anyway, I seem to be having issues paying, and keeping attention to my homeschool work. Sadly enough, I'm too scared of my mother to actually allow this blog to be posted on my facebook page, sad right? I know. I can't help how I feel, and I can't stop myself from fearing them, the number of things they can do to wreck, and destroy my future, it's horrible.
Anyway, I've learned another thing about my life, the reason why people worry, is because something that involves something they have worried about in the past has effected their thought process in such a way, that it leaves a permanent imprint of that day, in different situations. My problem is losing something dear to me, not having a good outlook on life, and fearing that I won't be able to say what I need to before losing that person.
That doesn't explain anything about my problems with homeschooling, let's get on that, shall we?
Anyway, as I was saying before, my problems with homeschooling are that I lack the ability to -care-. I can't seem to bring myself to give a shit about my homeshcooling anymore... sad right? I know it's my education, but really... I don't give a damn, a rat's ass, or a donkey's shithole. Life bites at ya, hard, and it hurts sometimes. Homeschooling is the single worst thing you can do to a child... life-lesson-wise.
That's my outlook on it anymore, it sucks, and I can't change it. Sure I blame my parents, what person wouldn't? It's insane. Ha! I love my life, and hate it all at the same time.
Anyway, I've learned another thing about my life, the reason why people worry, is because something that involves something they have worried about in the past has effected their thought process in such a way, that it leaves a permanent imprint of that day, in different situations. My problem is losing something dear to me, not having a good outlook on life, and fearing that I won't be able to say what I need to before losing that person.
That doesn't explain anything about my problems with homeschooling, let's get on that, shall we?
Anyway, as I was saying before, my problems with homeschooling are that I lack the ability to -care-. I can't seem to bring myself to give a shit about my homeshcooling anymore... sad right? I know it's my education, but really... I don't give a damn, a rat's ass, or a donkey's shithole. Life bites at ya, hard, and it hurts sometimes. Homeschooling is the single worst thing you can do to a child... life-lesson-wise.
That's my outlook on it anymore, it sucks, and I can't change it. Sure I blame my parents, what person wouldn't? It's insane. Ha! I love my life, and hate it all at the same time.
Second Post: August 15, 2010
Alrighty, so I just learned that I've been pulled out of public school because of my mother's experiences, and insecurities about it. So, just because at one point a public school had guns, and knives, and no protection... Me, and my sisters are punished? Hello "Protective Shelling", and "Idiotic Self-Preservation Techniques", no idea why they deserve to torture us. Oddly enough, my parents are into politics now, they also seem to be blind to the fact that they've created three clinically, and socially inept menaces to society. Seriously, most the thoughts in my head are homocidal, and highly destructive. The last thing I thought of doing was... punching my fist through the wall, seventeen times, then ripping as much of it out as I could.... Freaky right? Nah, you'd probably be suprised how often teenagers feel the need to do something so highly, and improbably insane, just to piss off their parents.
I can empathize though, people irritate the shit out of me though, saying how public school is harder than homeschooling, how we hasve it easy being home all day... Seriously, do they not understand what they're saying? Are they honestly saying that'd be happy without friends, interaction, and an escape from their parents? I can't understand how people can even think that their lives are harder than our's... Yes, I do try to speak equally for my sisters, but as I do not exactly share -all- their emotions, we lack the ability to connect like that for some reason. Fortunately for all of us, we can read our parents like open books, they don't know what we feel at all, they can barely tell when we're upset or something. That's about it.
I can empathize though, people irritate the shit out of me though, saying how public school is harder than homeschooling, how we hasve it easy being home all day... Seriously, do they not understand what they're saying? Are they honestly saying that'd be happy without friends, interaction, and an escape from their parents? I can't understand how people can even think that their lives are harder than our's... Yes, I do try to speak equally for my sisters, but as I do not exactly share -all- their emotions, we lack the ability to connect like that for some reason. Fortunately for all of us, we can read our parents like open books, they don't know what we feel at all, they can barely tell when we're upset or something. That's about it.
Little... Indepth Info about myself.
Name: Frank
Age: 16
Occupation: None at the moment, but looking.
Height: 6'6
Weight: 225.5 lbs. (Odd right??)
Body Build: Average, Kinda Toned? Dunno.
Intelligence: Little above average.
Religion: Christian
Political Views: "Those who do not care."
Favorite Quote: "No Rain, No Rainbow. Without sadness, there is no happiness, without happiness, there is no sadness. All negatives cease to exist without their positives." - Me. <.<
Age: 16
Occupation: None at the moment, but looking.
Height: 6'6
Weight: 225.5 lbs. (Odd right??)
Body Build: Average, Kinda Toned? Dunno.
Intelligence: Little above average.
Religion: Christian
Political Views: "Those who do not care."
Favorite Quote: "No Rain, No Rainbow. Without sadness, there is no happiness, without happiness, there is no sadness. All negatives cease to exist without their positives." - Me. <.<
First Entry: Sunday, August 15th 2010
Alright, so... If you're reading this then you probably already know that this blog is probably just going to be filled with my inner thoughts, reflections, and things that I rant about on a daily basis. This is in no way mean't for entertainment, just as an out so that I can have something to do instead of have my anger store up in my chest until it explodes into violent, uncontrolled rage.
Unfortunately for most people, I happen to be a home-schooled child, that of which is supposed to have been taught by his parents. Don't let the labels fool you, home-schooling is another word for mind control, once you've broken free of it, you lose the ability to pay attention to it anymore. A lot of people find me to be mild-mannered, and kind in public... if they only knew what goes on in the back of my head, they'd probably realize that I have nothing but the worst of intentions for half the people I meet. Thankfully I can sink these... thoughts deep into my mind. Seriously, I don't want to throw out thoughts that homeschooling might not work for you, but I do know that it didn't work for me... at all.
As I said earlier, this blog is simply for me to complain, and vent about my known issues. Right now I've been momentarily employed as my friend's relationship councilors, something I was involuntarily appointed for. It's seriously no fun, they're both my friends, and my advice counter-acts with what both of them ask me. Unfortunately, whenever I tell her one thing, I tell him another. It's redundant, and rediculous.... I shouldn't be held accountable for their emotional problems! So, what do I do? I let them know that when it comes to their relationship, that I've lost the ability to care, and thus do not. The only thing I try to help with is keeping one of them happy. Seriously... I have to pick sides daily. She doesn't really listen to what I have to say, and believes that she can't live without this man, and would lose all will to live if he left her. Stupid, seriously... Well, that's all I got to say, I can't really much else, as I've drained my anger for the day. I'll talk to you later, bye~ <3
Unfortunately for most people, I happen to be a home-schooled child, that of which is supposed to have been taught by his parents. Don't let the labels fool you, home-schooling is another word for mind control, once you've broken free of it, you lose the ability to pay attention to it anymore. A lot of people find me to be mild-mannered, and kind in public... if they only knew what goes on in the back of my head, they'd probably realize that I have nothing but the worst of intentions for half the people I meet. Thankfully I can sink these... thoughts deep into my mind. Seriously, I don't want to throw out thoughts that homeschooling might not work for you, but I do know that it didn't work for me... at all.
As I said earlier, this blog is simply for me to complain, and vent about my known issues. Right now I've been momentarily employed as my friend's relationship councilors, something I was involuntarily appointed for. It's seriously no fun, they're both my friends, and my advice counter-acts with what both of them ask me. Unfortunately, whenever I tell her one thing, I tell him another. It's redundant, and rediculous.... I shouldn't be held accountable for their emotional problems! So, what do I do? I let them know that when it comes to their relationship, that I've lost the ability to care, and thus do not. The only thing I try to help with is keeping one of them happy. Seriously... I have to pick sides daily. She doesn't really listen to what I have to say, and believes that she can't live without this man, and would lose all will to live if he left her. Stupid, seriously... Well, that's all I got to say, I can't really much else, as I've drained my anger for the day. I'll talk to you later, bye~ <3
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